It’s the Holidays! We’re supposed to be happy and celebrating! Right?
For so many people, it’s a really difficult time of year.
Tis the season, for panic, feeling inadequate, going into debt, fighting with relatives, and pure exhaustion.
For so many, it’s the season for guilt, shame, and loneliness.
‘Tis the season for theft, because for some, the season brings only utter desperation.
The reason for this season is love, peace, forgiveness and being with loved ones. It’s not supposed to be a measurement of your love based on your financial stability.
Today, I watched a video of a mother of 4 boys. She was elated, hysterically crying in joy, praising Jesus because she just received a call from someone that had a bag of Christmas presents for each of her children. She was rejoicing because she couldn’t afford any presents and through another’s generosity, her children would have something to open on Christmas. As I watched her raw emotions, true gratitude and overwhelming relief, I understood, and it pained me.
She was overwhelmed with joy and all that I could think was how unfair this season is. This woman’s elation was in direct correlation with her level of stress. You could feel it. You could see her finally able to breathe.
The commercial nature of this holiday brings out the opposite of what it’s meant to be. Our worthiness is measured according to the value of the presents, instead of the openness of our hearts.
As a single mom, there was so many things I was unable to do for my son, especially around the holidays. I always tried to make it special for him, but inside I was harboring the anxiety, dread and guilt of the season. Most years, I sighed a breath of relief just getting through Thanksgiving and the expense of having such a good, but large meal.
But the reprieve was always brief because his birthday is just 10-days before Christmas, adding another level of economic stress… a birthday… on top of Christmas. Some years, it was a matter of just getting through without crying every day.
I remember the dread, panic, and the emotion of feeling like a complete failure as a parent, all because of no money at Christmas. He’s grown now but the emotions are only slightly less dreadful because now there are grandchildren, nieces, nephews, holiday parties and friends.
Loved-ones change and grow, but the expectations of the season don’t. The demands of society, and the hopes and dreams of a magical season inevitably just leave us stressed, miserable and lashing-out at the ones we’re trying to excite and inspire.
During this time, I urge you to stop.
Just stop.
Put down your credit card and pick up the phone — call someone you miss and tell them they are loved.
Stop planning events and take a moment to look into your children’s eyes — they won’t ever be this age again.
Stop looking for merchandise and start building memories. Years from now they won’t remember the gifts, but they will remember how they felt and what they did.
Use these Holy Days to be whole, and to make someone else also feel whole. That is what this season is about — not the holes it inflicts in your wallet, relationships and ultimately, your heart.
Go forth and just Love.
Tis the Season!
